Ada dua macam reaksi yang muncul dari
lawan bicara, ketika gue berkata, "Yeah, pacar gue tinggal di Hamburg. Kita
LDR-an.“:
1.) "Awww…
that must be so hard for you“-pity look,
Dan
2.) "Aww… you
poor gurl, he’s definitely cheating on you“-pity look.
Yes, long distance relationship is
hard. Many times it's sucks too. It needs another level of trust, effort and
comitment.
But honestly, infidelity is the least
thing we concern about.
Whether it is a bad-chosen word or false
intonation interpretating the written chats, disagreements mostly start with
miscommunication and bad-mood rather than distrust.
So, for those who did the 2.), I’m sorry
if you only know that kind of men or women.
LDR memang bukan untuk semua orang.
We’re lucky enough to be able to meet
each other at least once a month, to live in the same time zone and that nowadays,
with the modern technology and internet, we can communicate much more easier.
Distance has been reduced into a single tap on the smartphone.
Tapi, menurut gue, alasan macam „Gue orangnya
nggak bisa LDR“, kasarnya berarti „You are not worthy my efforts and hardwork,“
Lebih halusnya mungkin berarti yang bersangkutan tidak memprioritaskan hubungan
yang membutuhkan extra effort dan waktu. Toh masih banyak orang lain yang hidup
dekat dengan kita, kenapa pula cari yang hidup di seberang pulau.
You see, siapa sih yang lebih memilih
untuk menjalani hubungan jarak jauh? Semua yang menjalani LDR, ya karena
terpaksa. Karena cinta saja tidak bikin kenyang. Karena tatap muka tidak bayar
tagihan. Dan karena-karena yang lainnya.
We choose to stay in the relationship
although it has to be long distance. Because despite the hardships, our loved
ones are worth the wait and effort. So, it basically depends on who you’re going
to have an LDR with.
IMHO, everyone shouldn’t settle for someone
you don’t think you can have an LDR with. You don’t have to do the long distance
but just imagine, would you go as far as long distance to the greater future
with your significant other?
Don’t get me wrong.
I’m not saying relationships beside
LDR are easy.
Every relationship needs efforts and
has its own problems.
Pertanyaannya, seberapa jauh mau
berusaha untuk urusan cinta-cintaan ini? Apakah yang diperjuangkan itu
sebanding dengan usahanya? Apakah susahnya akan terbayar dengan rasa
bahagianya?
Menurut gue, mau LDR atau pacaran sama
tetangga, kalau isi hubungannya hanya berantem dan bikin sakit hati, buat apa?
Life is already hard without such drama.
LDR mengajarkan gue untuk mengatur
waktu. I tried to finish my assigment before the weekend, when we supposed to
finally meet. Then I could enjoy our date time without any burdens (I’m still
learning though, as I’m a procrastinating sloth). Most of the times, the fun we had on our dates is enough to made me forget about the homework. LOL.
We plan our date, so no time wasted on
„what are we gonna eat?“. Though sometimes we choose to stay-in and watch
Netflix instead.
We also agree upon the importance of
maintaining a hobby.
Me and my
do-nothing-laying-around-time and he with his games and Gundam.
Gue selalu bilang terserah mau hobi
apa, asal affordable (mau koleksi Lambo pun silahkan, asal nggak perlu pakai
ngutang), dan paling penting: bukan main cewek. LOL.
Kita pun bukan tipe yang melarang-larang
berlebihan, apalagi sampai cek-cek hape dan sebagainya. I was not and will
never be. Mostly karena capeeekkk boookkk kalau pacaran harus begitu. Capek
hati, capek pikiran. Toh kalau memang sudah ada niat nggak jujur, dipantau
seperti apa pun akan selalu ada celah.
Luckily, I’ve known a good deal of my
boyfriend before we’re deciding to take our friendship to another level of
relationship. We’d been good friends for years, he’s still my very best friend.
Di awal banget kita bisa dengan terbuka membicarakan dan menjelaskan batasan apa
yang harus dijaga, punya ekspektasi apa, gaya pacaran, dan sebagainya. It helps
a lot. Apalagi ternyata harus LDR.
We never make a schedule for
Video-call or such. But we still call each other almost everyday. Not because
it’s scheduled but because we want to. And I think there’s a big difference
there.
I also try not to force anything to
him. I sometime still nag though. LOL. Instead, I ask him to explain if
something doesn’t quite right for me. We try not to make this relationship as „terpaksa“
because it’ll make all the fun go away.
Actually the key to a long-distance
relationship is just like any other relationships: healthy communication.
LDR memang bukan untuk semua orang.
LDR hanya untuk mereka yang sudah berpikir dewasa dan mau berusaha lebih.
Anyway, I was gonna say:
Don’t pity LDR-Couples.
Instead, give them support and hope the best for them.
Because we don’t mean to stay long
distance forever. It’s just a phase for a greater future together. Everyone has
his own journey and long distance is ours.
And if possible, don’t judge and say things like, „LDR kok ketemu
melulu?“.
Isn’t it good, that despite the long
distance we still could manage to see each other?
Memang kadang terpikir, „Look at all of
that money I spent on bus-tickets!“
Tapi, gue memilih untuk bersyukur
karena walau demikian, I still live comfortably and enough.
